We don’t fear change; we fear the unknown. The shelf life on a job, a relationship or a bad habit could have expired years ago yet we hang on. We would rather slowly deteriorate than face a void where we fear nothing will exist. We remain, stuck, staring at the black hole just outside the door.
Talking can work for or against us. It most often works against us when we are not being mindful of our motives or how we are being perceived. Sharing too much information to prove a point can seem pushy. While over-communicating to fill the air in the room, or to avoid an uncomfortable pause, will likely read as insecure or anxious. Talking too much about yourself, or self-promoting without sharing the credit with others, will likely look egotistical. Rambling in circles or jumping from loosely related topics may make you appear unfocused–and, possibly annoying. So what is the right amount or talking?
Last week’s blog caused quite the stir. After outing myself as a woman who has not felt held back by my gender, I received the most emails I had ever received. Many of the responses came from women who felt like me–and had been reluctant to admit it. These women were excelling in their careers and felt that gender had not been a deterrent. Instead, they cited tenancy, resilience, focus, and the courage to make bold moves as the reason for their success.
My favorite part of a wedding is the vows. The words, in their simplicity are deeply profound. Each time I hear them, and tear-up at the commitment between the loved ones, I can’t help but wonder what it would be like if more people made the promise to themselves. To first bond with their nature and honor it through their actions. To one-day stand in front of a mirror and say the words out loud:
“I take thee, as my lawful self, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love and honor you all the days of my life.”
A few weeks ago, I asked readers to send questions they would like me to answer in my blog. I received many responses including one from Anne who wanted to know how to define her goals. She shared that she wasn’t sure where to start or how to narrow down what goals would be the most impactful. Great question!