How to Avoid a Fight
The words “I disagree with you,” are a great way to pick a fight. It’s basically a statement that voids the other person’s opinion and can leave the receiver feeling a little defensive-- if not downright angry. When the declarative is spoken most people will either shut down and not share their point-of-view, or engage in a power struggle to win the battle. What we lose in the process is respectful dialogue that encourages innovation, collaboration and problem solving via shared information. [...]
Taking the Driver’s Seat
By the time I was 17-years-old, I had been in 15 car accidents. Most of which were my fault. Although the majority were fender benders resulting from the fogged brain of a teenager, the accidents were, as most things are, indicative of a larger issue. Then one day, my high school counselor summoned me to her office. We knew, and liked each other well as we spent much time together at the request of my teachers (they use to call them [...]
The Best Professional Advice I Have Received
Don’t wait for someone to tell you what to do. I see way too many people spending time in limbo handicapped by lack of direction. They don’t know the goal, the expectations, the edict from upper management so they wait in a frustrated malaise until someday, somebody, takes the time to notice they are waiting. No good can come from this. A better way to go is to look around. What needs to be done. What is under your control [...]
When Acceptance Is Better Than Hope
I had the honor of listening to a friend the other day as we walked along the beach. She was sharing that her mother was ill and the latest news was rather grim. I did the typical thing and tried to comfort her by offering thoughts of hope. She asked me to stop. She was not interested in listening to highly improbable possibilities. Instead, she wanted to focus on the reality of the situation. She wanted to accept, embrace and [...]
When to Say What’s on Your Mind
You know what they say about a point-of-view. Everybody has one. It's easy to blurt out a fleeting thought, or a not-so-fleeting bias with little consideration for how it might land on our listener. Even with good intentions a strong point-of-view can turn off co-workers, family and friends if we have not taken the steps to gain influence. Before the words irrevocably leave your lips consider asking questions to better understand the subject matter. Suspend your judgment long enough to see the issue in [...]
What Does Love Have to Do with It?
As Valentine's Day approaches, I am reminded that we socialize many misconceptions about life. And the greatest of these is love. Our romantic notions of tantalizing energies between two people is seen as something to strive for, recapture, celebrate and grieve over. Yet this fleeting feeling of romance is only the surface of love. Love is our devotion to another. To our families. It's letting people lean on us when they need support, and letting them go when they don't. [...]