Do You Have the Power to Walk Away?
We do our best work when we know we can quit. We can walk away…take this job and…well if you have heard the song, you know the rest. It gives us a certain type of freedom that we are not confined nor enslaved. If we don’t like the way we are being treated, or the job we are performing, we have the courage to walk out the door. When we don’t feel we have the power to walk away from our jobs we [...]
What People Really Appreciate
Our job is not to make other people's lives fit our agenda. Although most of us can agree to that statement it’s rather insidious how it plays out in reality. We often think we know what is best for those we love and/or influence. We can nudge, persuade, and sometimes push others in a direction that might not be attuned with their needs, values, or life path. If they comply to please us, they betray themselves. If they don’t, we [...]
Trust Is Not a 4 Letter Word
“I’m not really controlling. I just like everything done my way.” Letting go of control is a daily effort. It requires us to relinquish our small agenda. It asks us each day to seek quiet, go inside, and steady the belief that if we let go of what we think is best, something better has the chance to emerge. […]
Did You Agree to That?
Agreements are based on our behavior, not our words. Scary thought isn’t it? We can tell somebody we will no longer stay late at the office, pick up after their dirty dishes, or bail them out of debt one more time. Yet, if our behavior does not change, our words will mean nothing. Our credibility is compromised and we inevitably end up getting everything we tolerate. For some reason we are often reluctant to stand by our words. There [...]
How to Be Heard When They’re Not Listening
Sometimes it’s difficult to be heard. You are in the meeting, you offer a good solution, and somehow the conversation keeps going as if you weren’t there. You look down at your clothes, confirm to yourself that you left your invisible cape at home, and sit somewhat puzzled looking for another entry point into the conversation. Then somebody else brings up the same thought. The idea is so close to what you said it sounds like a delayed echo. The [...]
When Bad Things Turn Good
Last spring, I received a call from a woman who had just been laid off from her job. Despite the fact that she had a long commute and found it profoundly difficult to leave her young children each day, she loved her work and was the primary financial contributor to her family. She had 6 months of severance so we talked about opportunities. She wanted to start her own company, but admitted she was extremely risk adverse and felt she [...]