Resentment is a feeling that builds when we are doing something we really don’t want to do– even if we agree to do it. It’s one of those tricky, volcanic emotions that starts with a low ember. The people around us don’t know our frustration is building. We said yes. We smile as we say it. We even go as far as to believe our own cover story despite how we truly feel about it.
When our resentment finally hits a tipping point we can lash out at unsuspecting others. They never see it coming–and often times either do we. This episode can erode trust, diminish relationships, and scare the pants off our children.
We all have to do stuff we don’t want to do. But we need to limit the amount. Politely decline when the stakes are low, and when you do say yes, determine what’s in it for you. If it maintains job security, supports a loved one in a healthy way, or will heighten your profile for advancement it might be worth a wholehearted yes. If that doesn’t work, and you still feel resentful, it might be time to share the feeling. After all, people can’t help if we don’t ask.