Category Archives: Managing Transitions

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The Best Way to Make a Decision

A reader recently asked me what to do when you hit a fork in the road. “Pick it up” I told her, “and keep going.”

Every decision has a consequence but only one choice will keep you on course. It really is that simple, the hard part is figuring out the way. It’s times like these that you want to tune in to your internal GPS, quiet your mind, and trust the knowing that lies just beneath your fears. Sit with yourself until you are clear. Then proceed with confidence.

The good news is regardless of your choice, all roads lead to Rome. One might take you longer, be more strenuous or cause you some unnecessary bruising, but eventually, if you listen, you will get where you’re going.

When you hit a for in the road, pick it up and keep going.

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Is it really over?

September traditionally marks the end of summer. The vacations are over. Kids are back in school and engagement in the duties of life seems to increase. Fall then becomes a time of settling down. A time to center in our routines and perhaps a return to a rhythm that kindles the deeper parts of our being.

It is the time of the year to allow the stimulation of light and spontaneity to ebb, as it should, to give way to immersion. It is a time to ask ourselves what we can settle in to. What can we no longer avoid? What will kindle our spirit through the up and coming winter?

In our rear-view mirrors are the loves of summer. Looking forward, what will you create this fall?

Dawn

It is a time to ask ourselves what we can
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Is the right you in charge of your mind?

Lately my mind has been that of an anarchy. A bunch of different voices yelling over one another resisting the urge for any kind of governance. This happens most often when I let it happen. When there are too many choices and decisions to make and my hyperactive thinking breakdowns any kind of reasonable process to manage it all.

The only way to get my Zen back is to stop long enough to see where I am. That somehow in the course of life I forgot to take time in the morning to center my mind. That the voice I want to govern my thoughts is not the loud one, the scary one, or the one that bullies me with guilt into doing things I don’t really want to do.

The voice I want in charge of my thinking is the one that centers with a deep breath. The voice that does not fight to be heard over the clamoring of disjointed thoughts but instead waits patiently in the recesses of my mind until I give it the room and the silence to be heard. Then, and only then, does the madness stop. I welcome once again my wise old friend and am thankful she is patient, and always there when I am ready to return.

Wishing you a deep breath and a centered inner voice this week.

Today I decided to clean out the clutter in my mind. There were so many thoughts I just didn't need anymore. dawnkohler.com
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The Magic of Self-Correction

We are self-healing organisms. When we get a cut, the body unconsciously activates a series of responses that mend the damaged tissues. When we work with our natural system we heal.

Our spirit is no different. We can take a wrong direction in life, or stay in a job, or relationship that keeps us harnessed to our fears. But if we are not living the life we were born to live, or moving in that direction, our inner GPS will let us know and prompt us through inner or outer experiences to get back on course. Sometimes not getting the job, the promotion, the person you thought was meant for you, is exactly what we need. It might feel awful in the moment but so does smelly medicine. If you ever want to test the theory just look back at your life. How many times were you thankful you didn’t get what you thought you needed?

Help is not always a comfort, but it is designed to heal.

Warmly,

Dawn

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Keep Calm and Say No

I met a woman yesterday who reminded me of something I often tell my clients who feel overwhelmed by the many roles they play in life.  “No” she said, “Is a complete sentence.”

Those of us who find joy in alleviating the burdens of others, may not always recognize the burdens we are creating for ourselves.  Before we know it we are too tired, sick, or overwhelmed to live up to our commitments.  We have depleted our best-self and are moving dangerously close to the dark side of our personality. Yeah, we know what that looks like!

If you have trouble saying “no” and are taking on more than you can handle, consider practicing a few easy ways to decline a request from a family member, a co-worker, even your boss. Pay attention to what it feels like when you say the word out loud. And if that nagging belief comes up that tells you if you say “no”, you won’t be liked, ask yourself if that is really true.  Chances are a polite decline will still make you lovable.

Warmly,

Dawn

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You should have seen the look on their feces

Yes, you read that correctly. “You should have seen the look on their feces.” That was a line I recently read in a book. Clearly it was a mistake the publisher didn’t catch and no doubt that poor author felt some level of embarrassment to see the word feces instead of faces in print. The moral of the story, we all make mistakes.

We live busy lives and stuff gets past us. The best we can do in such situations is go easy on ourselves. We are not always going to get it right, or despite our best intentions do the right thing. Mistakes should be used to keep us humble, to practice forgiveness, to strengthen our character, not to beat us into that dark corner of worthlessness. After all if we were all perfect, would we even have a word like feces. Who thought of that anyway?

Warmly,

Dawn

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3 Things to Consider About Change

“Change happens to everybody. Wisdom occurs when you use the change wisely.”

The quote appeared in my novel, but it was first spoken to me by my favorite aunt, O’Dell.  O’Dell was a hillbilly, the oldest of 16 children.  She lived through poverty, the death of most of her siblings, and the loss of two of her own children.  She didn’t have a lot of reasons to be happy, but she always was.

O’Dell saw life as a gift. With each change she would ask herself what she needs to release.  How would the change deepen her values or alter her direction?  What resources would help her manage today in order to see a better tomorrow?

My aunt passed away just before Christmas, leaving me with many gifts of the heart, but none greater than how to embrace change.  After all, she lived much of her life without indoor plumbing, yet, her obituary was posted on her Facebook page.

Is there a change in your life that is asking you to release something, deepen your values, or adjust your direction?

Enjoy your week,

Dawn